Don’t Apologize for Your Tears
Dear Women Leaders,
Don’t apologize for crying.
If you’ve ever cried in a one-on-one meeting at work, you probably also apologized.
Why?
➖ Were you worried you looked “too emotional” or unprofessional?
➖ Was it the discomfort you saw in the eyes of the other person?
➖ Was it the belief that you had somehow failed simply by feeling?
“I’m sorry” spills out as uncontrollably as the tears themselves. But I want to encourage you to practice not apologizing.
Because here’s the truth:
✨ It is not your job to comfort other people in your time of distress.
✨ Tears are a normal part of being human, not a sign of weakness.
✨ Expressing emotion does not erase your competence.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, or sad, tears may be part of expressing those feelings—even when you wish they wouldn’t show up.
And if you find yourself in this moment, here’s a small but powerful shift:
Instead of saying:
❌ “I’m sorry.”
Try saying:
✅ “Please give me a moment.”
The language change is subtle, but the impact is profound:
✔️ You communicate clearly what you need.
✔️ You model emotional regulation without shame.
✔️ You avoid centering the other person’s discomfort over your experience.
Remember, this is not about weaponizing tears to manipulate others. This is about allowing yourself to be human and claiming the dignity of your feelings.
You don’t need to apologize for being real.
You don’t need to apologize for feeling.
Sincerely,
Your Leadership Coach
P.S. Want more intentional leadership strategies like this?
👉 Explore the blog or book a discovery call to learn how coaching can support your growth at every stage.
Rebecca Malotke-Meslin is the founder of Pleasantly Aggressive Coaching & Consulting, where she helps women working in independent schools and non-profit organizations to lead more confidently, authentically, and unapologetically. Rebecca combines a background in social research with 20 years of sales, marketing, communications, and school leadership to create an in-depth and engaging experience for her clients. Rebecca is also the co-host of the Confidently You: Women in Leadership Podcast.
