The Conversation That Follows A Mistake

Dear Women Leaders,

I’m very comfortable admitting when I’m wrong… around certain people.

If you admit to a mistake and you’re met with shame, ridicule, or mocking, it’s unlikely you’ll want to admit to failure again. Most of us learn quickly who it feels safe to be honest with and who makes us regret our vulnerability.

Asking people to embrace or praise your mistake might be asking too much.
But there is a meaningful middle ground between punishment and praise.

So what does the happy medium look like?

You made a mistake. Your boss calls you in to give you feedback. You take ownership. You are open. You are listening.

But in that moment, what do you actually need to hear to move forward?

Often, what we need most is not reassurance that the mistake “wasn’t a big deal,” but clarity. Clarity about impact. Clarity about expectations. And clarity about what comes next. Because without that, the mistake lingers. It becomes something we replay in our heads instead of something we learn from.

This is where your leadership style gets defined.

How you handle your staff when they fail says a lot about your leadership. Words and tone are incredibly important. They can either shut someone down or invite growth.

If you don’t know what to do in these moments, don’t wing it! Taking the time to prepare and practice will significantly increase the effectiveness of your conversation. It sounds obvious, right? Yet many leaders, under time constraints, skip this step, cross their fingers, and hope the conversation will be good enough.

This conversation may be a defining moment for that employee’s experience in your organization. That is especially true for newer employees who are still trying to find their place, understand expectations, and decide whether this is an environment where they can be honest and grow.

Hope is not a strategy, especially when the stakes involve trust, confidence, and someone’s sense of belonging.

One poorly handled conversation can teach someone to hide mistakes rather than learn from them. It can unravel a healthy relationship between leadership and staff. It can cause someone to label your organization toxic. These are the real risks. 

If you are new to leadership or new to your role, it is okay to admit that these conversations are hard.

A leadership coach can help you think through language, tone, and intention before you ever walk into the room. They can help you lead with clarity rather than fear, and with preparation rather than reaction.

You do not have to do it alone.

Sincerely,
Your Leadership Coach

P.S. Want more intentional leadership strategies like this?

Explore the blog or book a discovery call to learn how coaching can support your growth at every stage.